Ye Gods (PG-13)

Unrelated stories that take place in a setting besides Star Wars...

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Ye Gods (PG-13)

Post by Kytross » Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:41 pm

“Ok guys, not a bad take. Steve you were a little sloppy on the middle, Ralph, when you come in on the second part really hit it, Sonny, perfect, as always.” The fair-haired lead guitarist nodded at the compliment from Laura, the female lead singer. She grinned at him, lost in the deep blue pools he called eyes, then shook her head. “Uh, let's do another song. How about 'Redneck Superstar'?”

Sonny bit his lower lip and grinned. “I'm up for whatever.”

Laura raised her eyebrows and said, “Well, yeah. Cool. Uh, 'Redneck Superstar' it is then. You guys ready?”

Ralph's phone beeped. “Hold on, this could be it.” His girlfriend was pregnant and due any day now. “Oh wow.”

“What is it?” Laura asked.

“Quick turn on the TV!” Ralph said.

Steve was halfway across the garage and turning on the television when Laura asked again, “What is it?”

“Put the news on,” Ralph said, “Fox or CNN, quick!”

The old TV came to life as Steve dialed to CNN on the old cable box. The screen filled with a red-haired man throwing a car at another man in the middle of some city.

“Shit,” Sonny swore.

“You can say that again,” Steve said with a low whistle. He turned the volume up and the newscast stated that the fight between two super humans was going on in Times Square.

Ralph shook his head. “Can you believe that? Super heroes. I read some comics when I was a kid but I never imagined any of that crap was real.”

Sonny put his guitar in its case. “I gotta go.”

“What?” Laura exclaimed, “We just started rehearsal!”

“I have family in New York,” Sonny said as he snapped his case closed and hefted it up. “I'm going home to check on some people. I'll see you guys Wednesday.”

“I'm sorry man,” Ralph said, “I hope everything's alright.”

Sonny nodded. “Yeah. I'll see you guys.” He gave a wave and walked out of the garage.

Sonny walked down the street. He came to the end of the block and turned. His body began to glow and then shine with an unearthly light. In an instant he was brighter then the sun in the sky, and then he was gone. Sonny had turned into a beam of light, left the streets of Seattle and pierced the sky, shooting out past the atmosphere and down again in an instant in New York City. He slowed, solidifying slightly, floating over Times, Square.

The car had landed on the dark-haired man, smashing him into the ground. The red-haired man stood there laughing. The car went flying into the sky and the dark-haired man launched himself at the red-haired man. He didn't get a chance to connect. While he was in mid air a blinding light filled Times Square and Sonny dived down, grabbing both men by their shoulders and turning all three of them into pure energy. They shot up into the sky, out of the atmosphere and back down, landing on Antarctica, all three of them solidifying.

“I knew you were stupid,” Sonny shouted at the red-haired man, “But I didn't know you were this stupid!”

“Apollo! I should crush you like an insect!” the red-haired man roared, charging at Sonny.

Sonny pointed a finger at the larger man. A beam of light flashed, cutting a pinhole through the red-haired man's arm. The wound healed almost instantly, but the larger man stopped his charge. They glared at each other. Sonny finally said, “Thor, or Heracles or whatever you're calling yourself these days Brother, you would do well to remember Delphi.”

“Oh I remember well Apollo.” Thor spat on the snow. “I remember your cowardice. Fight me like a man, with your bare hands.”

Sonny held his hands up. “I'm not carrying a sword, brother. You give up your prodigious strength and we'll have a go.” Sonny paused for a response. When Thor didn't say anything he pointed toward the dark-haired man who was standing in the antarctic snow and shivering. “Who's the kid?”

“I'm older then you are, punk,” the dark-haired man stated through chattering teeth. He certainly looked older then Sonny.

Sonny raised an eyebrow as Thor laughed out loud. They exchanged a glance and Sonny asked, “How's the weather treating you old man?”

“Where am I? What happened to New York City?” the dark-haired man demanded.

“Antarctica,” Thor growled, “I saw penguins on the way down.”

Sonny extended his thumb and forefinger, curling his other three fingers into a gun shape. He snapped his thumb down like a pistol's hammer firing the gun. “Right in one. You're getting better at this.” Sonny grinned at Thor.

“Antarctica!” the dark-haired man shouted, “I'll freeze to death!” He wrapped his arms tighter around himself. “You need to take me home, right now!”

Sonny and Thor glanced at each other again and then broke out into laughter. “You're not one to dictate to Apollo, old man,” Thor growled, “and I believe we have a fight to finish.”

“Here?” the dark-haired man shouted, “Are you insane?”

Thor shrugged. “That's why Apollo dragged us down here, right?”

Sonny nodded. “More or less. The news had your mug all over the TV. I have no idea how we're going to hide this from the mortals. Maybe I should go to Hades while you finish your dispute.”

“He won't help,” Thor said, “He's still mad at me for my affair with Hel.”

“The Persephone thing?” Sonny asked, “This is bigger then that. If he can fix it he may demand your castration as payment.”

Thor frowned. “That doesn't seem fair, the kid here started the fight.” Thor pointed his thumb at the dark-haired fellow. He shook his head and continued. “Well if that's what it takes. Frigg will have her birds peck my eyes out again if this isn't taken care of. I can go without sex for a decade or two if I have to, but I won't be blinded again.”

Sonny held his hands up. “Wait, wait, wait.” He pointed at the dark-haired guy. “You started the fight?”

The dark-haired man's face was turning blue. He nodded. “Y-y-yeah.”

“Oh, you idiot.” Sonny shook his head, pity in his voice. “Didn't your parents teach you anything?”

“What do m-m-my p-parents have to do with this?” the dark-haired man asked.

“I don't think he's one of us Odin,” Thor said. “Look how he shivers in the cold.”

“I th-thought his n-name was Apollo,” the dark-haired man said, “Like in b-Battlestar g-Galactica.”

Sonny made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “You think that's confusing, you should have been around when I was Quetzalcoatl.”

Thor grimaced. “Let's not talk about that.”

Before Sonny could answer the dark-haired man collapsed into the snow. Thor ran over to him, kneeling into the snow and putting his hand on the dark-haired man's forehead. “He's cold.”

“N-no shit!” The dark-haired man was vehement, but his voice wasn't loud. “We're in Antarctica!”

Thor turned to Sonny. “Do something.”

Sonny snorted. “Why?”

“He'll die if you don't,” Thor answered.

Sonny held a finger up. “Putting aside the irony of you advocating mercy to me,” Sonny raised a second finger, “Interference in the affairs of immortals has always carried a severe penalty,” Sonny raised a third finger, “Considering he exposed our existence to the world, I have no problem with him dying for his indiscretion.”

“Please, please,” the dark-haired man moaned, “save me.”

Thor stopped for a moment, contemplating. He locked eyes with Sonny. “He has my strength but not our immortality. Surely you must want to know why.”

Sonny crossed his arms. “He's been genetically enhanced. Mortals are making amazing strides in science. Perhaps one of our siblings is making blood pacts with humans again, like Persephone's thrice damned vampires, or those lycanthropes Loki keeps making. In fact, one of us has probably hired some scientists to manipulate their blood.” Sonny shrugged. “Either way, after he dies I'll hire a private eye to trace his steps through his credit cards and driver's license. I don't need him alive to find out what happened to him. I can even hire my own scientists to dissect him and discover what changes were made to his genetic code. We'll find whoever did this and they will answer to the Pantheon.”

“Please,” the dark-haired man moaned again.

“The Pantheon is nothing,” Thor spat, “The gods are weak.”

Sonny raised an eyebrow. “Certainly, the mortals have increased their technology significantly in the last half millennium, and have become correspondingly more powerful, but we are far from weak.”

“Frigg talks to animals, Loki changes shape, Njorthr manipulates water, even Tyr is nothing anymore! What is that compared to airplanes, the internet, manufacturing? Where are the hordes of devoted followers sacrificing to us?” Thor demanded. “We are nothing now.”

Sonny frowned and nodded. “Perhaps we've become less in comparison. The mortals have progressed so swiftly, but that doesn't lessen who we are, what we are. I have lived for over five millennia. You've lived for nearly three and a half. Our skills have also grown, though we have never been as powerful as those ridiculous myths make us out to be.” Sonny chuckled. “Don't tell me you've been believing your own hype Brother.”

Thor raised his fists toward Sonny, his anger shaking his body. His hands shot open as he let out a growl of frustration. Thor exhaled slowly, attempting to regain his calm. After a moment he locked eyes with Sonny again. “Father Odin, I ask you to help this mortal, as a favor to me, your son.”

Sonny's face softened. “Of course son, for you I will.” Sonny moved to the dark-haired man. He extended his hands so they were over the mortal, palms pointed down. They began to glow, heat radiated off them, melting the snow and warming the dark-haired man. Sonny increased the heat slowly until the man stopped shivering and sat up.

“Thank you,” the mortal said, offering his hand to Sonny.

Sonny ignored him. “I will convene the Pantheon. Hermes will read this mortal's mind and justice will be meted.”

“And Pluto will definitely bring up the Hel affair. So be it,” Thor replied.

“The mortal is your responsibility until then. Do you want to stay here or shall I drop you somewhere?” Sonny asked.

“My name is Oliver,” the dark-haired man interjected angrily.

“Bully for you,” Sonny replied.

“What the hell is your problem?” Oliver asked.

Sonny transmogrified into light, grabbed Oliver, transmogrifying the mortal into light and shot straight up in the air, traveling a mile up and dropping him, then returning to the same spot he started in. To someone unfamiliar with Sonny this split-second occurrence would make it look like Oliver had simply disappeared. In reality Oliver was falling even now. “He took one of your hits, right Thor?”

Thor nodded. “I'd still catch him though. I've got no idea how much he can take.”

Sonny looked at his son cockeyed. “When did you become such a humanitarian?”

Thor sighed. “After the Aztecs. I, we,” Thor paused, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “After the Aztecs.”

Sonny nodded. “Fair enough. I've got to play catch with a mortal.”

To Thor's eyes Oliver just reappeared. “Why don't you drop us off in New York. I'd like to fire off my heat-seeking love missile a few times before I lose it.”

“Eww,” Oliver said, “You're really going to let someone cut off your dick?”

“It's not such a big deal after a few thousand years of carnality.” Thor shrugged. “Besides, it'll grow back. Just takes time and I've got plenty of it.”

Oliver shuddered. “No way I'd let someone do that to me.”

Sonny chuckled. “I wouldn't get too familiar with the mortal. Once he stands before the Pantheon I doubt he'll be long for this world.”

“Who made you my judge, jury and executioner?” Oliver spat at Sonny's feet.

Sonny's eyes began to glow and then flashed into a bright light. Thor and Oliver grabbed at there eyes.

Thor blinked twice. “Warn me next time Apollo. Wow.”

“I can't see.” Oliver waved his hands in front of him. “I can't see!”

Sonny turned to Thor and said, “He'll recover in three or four days. That should help you control him until I can get the Pantheon together.”

Thor clapped Sonny on the shoulder. “Thank you brother.”

Sonny grabbed both of them and transmogrified them into light and zapped out of the atmosphere and then back down in Times Square. He started to say good-bye when the giant video billboard flashed a new scene. Three women Sonny didn't recognize were ripping trees out of the ground and smashing each other with them.

Thor turned to see what Sonny was looking at. “Oh shit.”
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes!" - Except, apparently, that one.

"And Anarchy, I think we can agree, is only fun some of the time." - Ducky

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