Outrider: Flying the Coup

2 years prior to The Force Awakens...
A persistent and interactive galaxy set shortly before the events of Episode VII

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Cazzik
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Outrider: Flying the Coup

Post by Cazzik » Mon May 23, 2016 3:25 pm

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

"BOOMER!"

"Don't scream at me, Juno! This fodder is not my fault!"

The red skinned Twi'lek had both blaster pistols raised as she continued to carefully fire at the flood of carnivorous birds, "Not your fault? Not your fault?! You're the one that brought these beasts on board, Boomer! You brought Felucian Cluckers on board my ship!"

The short, fury creature known as Boomer held his trusty blaster rifle in both hands, blowing away any birds that got too close to him. The pair was pinned down in the cockpit of the Outrider, "Yeah, okay. I brought them on board. We needed the money and those little feathered credit bags will fetch a fine price on Nal Hutta!"

Boomer took out another of the flesh eating little critters, "Besides, I'm not the one that let them out on the ship! That was Vangral! We all know it!"

A deep, guttural growl could be heard over the com system of the ship as the Barabel replied to the accusation. Boomer screamed back, "Oh don't you try and twist this back on me! We all know you think with nothing more than your stomach! This is your fault, pal!"

Juno frowned and kept firing, "Well I'm not happy with either one of you! Death by little white birds was not on my docket for today! Kanan? Corona? How are you two holding up?"

A very somber, female voice echoed through the communications speakers, "I assure you I will not die this day, Juno. I cannot, however, say the same for Boomer should one of these creatures devour any of my belongings."

Boomer bared his jagged, needle like teeth, "What the hell, Corona?! You're mad at me? Be mad at Vangral!"

"Vangral holds value to this crew."

Boomer blasted another Clucker out of the hallway leading to the cockpit, "That's hurtful, baby! I thought we had something more."

A disgusted sound from Corona was followed by a throaty laugh from Vangral, "Who are you laughing at, Bantha Breath?!"

An older man's voice cut off any response from anyone else, "How 'bout you all shut up and get back to wiping these little nuggets out before they rip our ship apart! Or worse!"

"Good job, Vangral! You went and pissed off Grandpa Kanan!"

"I hate you more than mynocks, Boomer."
"I'd like to nominate Cazzik for the Sexiest Man on Earth 2010." --Balsa

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Mir
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Re: Outrider: Flying the Coup

Post by Mir » Tue May 24, 2016 4:48 am

"Guys, guys, if we're going to turn a profit on these things, we need to make sure we keep some of them alive." Boomer said. "Why am I the only one thinking with any sense? Why does this happen all the time. Why does Juno smell like a Rodian hooker?" He asked.

Juno gave him a rude gesture and he gasped, planting a paw on his chest. She turned her blaster towards him and he ducked as she fired.

"Corona, Juno is getting violent."

"Good. There are flesh eating, acid ball spewing Felucian Cluckers on board this vessel. Were she not violent I would be worried about our chances at survival."

Boomer looked around and saw the controls to the doors of the holding bay. They were fried by an acid blast and unusable. But he knew that the acid was unable to break through the walls of the holding bay, so if they were just able to close the door, they would be safe. And still able to turn a profit. That was important. Boomer liked his Rodian hookers. "Okay, I have a plan."

"That's what you said when you put these things on this boat." Juno yelled out. "We can all see how that turned out for us. We're going to get eaten by these things."

"What? What?! That was a good plan. It was a great plan. I should know, I make great plans. People tell me all the time about how great my plans are. I make the best plans, believe me. All the other plans, they're garbage compared to my plans."

"Arguable." Corona replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "Good is subjective, and subjectively, it was not good."

Boomer's eyes widened in surprise at this turn of events. "You're supposed to be on my side!" Boomer replied. "What is this savagery?"

"Shut up for a second about whether or not that plan was good. We need to know what this plan is. What's your plan?" Juno asked, exasperated.

"Hold them off so I can get into the crawlspaces and reroute the holding bay controls so I can lock these bastards back up."

Vangral growled, and Boomer nodded, thinking about the question of what he would need to pull off the plan.

"Time." Boomer said and started running before stopping and turning back to Juno. "And a promise that if something happens to me, you'll never take another lover."

Juno almost dropped her blaster pistol. "What?!" She asked, incredulous.

"Promise me." Boomer said, his eyes looking serious and somber.

"We've never-"

"Maybe we have." Boomer replied. When Juno cocked her head to the side, looking at him in confusion, he smiled a wicked smile and pointed at his head.

"You are disgusting."

"It was you, me, and three of my favorite Rodians. It was magical. The night was young, the room not that dirty. The bed was heart shaped and you could tell it had been broken in. Maybe by a Gamorrean."

"Just go!"

"Fine!" Boomer said and started running. "Never get no respect round here."

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Cazzik
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Re: Outrider: Flying the Coup

Post by Cazzik » Mon Jun 27, 2016 4:18 pm

As Boomer vanished another familiar face appeared to Juno down the hallway. The face of a stern old man; a soldier that had seen more action then the rest of the crew combined. He wore partial body armor, pieced together from his old, full set of Stormtrooper gear. His blaster fire was planned and accurate. After all these years he still went into battle like the most professional of soldiers. He took out four more Cluckers before making his way to the cockpit and taking up residence on the opposite side of the entrance to Juno. He nodded at the female Twi'lek, "Captain. This is a damned fine mess Boomer has gotten us into this time."

Juno shrugged as she continued to fire at the little flesh eaters, "True. But he's also right. We need the credits. It's been awhile since we had a job."

Kanan Rho huffed, "There are plenty of jobs out there, Juno. We just need to go get them."

Juno frowned and continued to fire, "You know it's not that simple. Black Sun is everywhere. And wherever Black Sun is you know Karde is listening for us. We don't need to help him find us any faster then he's going to on his own."

The soldier nodded, "Whatever you say, Juno. But at some point you're going to need to stop fearing that man so much."

Juno turned her head and leveled a blaster at Kanan, "Be careful, old man. I love you like you were my own father but if you say something like that to me again I'll blast your old ass right back to the Empire."

Kanan smiled, "That's my girl."
"I'd like to nominate Cazzik for the Sexiest Man on Earth 2010." --Balsa

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Mir
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Re: Outrider: Flying the Coup

Post by Mir » Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:26 am

No, that’s my girl, Rhobie.”

Juno closed her eyes as they heard Boomer’s voice over the ship’s PA system.

“I got the PA system working, if anyone was wondering. No, I’m not the voice of god. Maybe I am though. Maybe you’re really having an existential cri-“

“Shut up!” Juno said. “Have you figured out how to get the door working?” She asked.

“Yes and I like that feisty tone in the women I bed.” Boomer said. “I need you all to herd the remaining chickens into the docking bay. Also get the bodies of the deceased in there too. We should have a funeral for them or something. Also, I don’t know if Felucian Cluckers are cannibalistic, so if they are, it’ll give them something to eat.”

He watched from his crawl space as the crew proceeded to shepherd the remaining Cluckers back into the docking bay. As soon as the last live one was in there, he tapped wires together, forcing the doors to close and lock. Leaning back, Boomer grinned. “Juno, you don’t have to remain celibate for the rest of your life. Isn’t that a good thing?”

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